I have finally left Berlin for home. I feel I left a part of me at ESMT. I am somewhat used to saying goodbyes and moving on but this time instead of heading off into the sunset at the crack of dawn, I wound down till I was ready to leave! You may ask what is the difference? The difference is that unlike those who took off early, I won’t miss the place as fast. Of course, some had places to go to be with partners, family and others. Some personalities avoid bonding in order to make exits in haste! I predict the early escapees will be missing the rest of us sooner and probably, much more too! It might sound haughty but the subconcious is slower at accepting change and needs time to adapt. I suspect they are already dreaming of being back at ESMT wearing 2008 name tags…

I spent all night hectically packing all I had into bags before heading off to the airport. I never realised how much stuff I had brought with me during the year. Still the cab driver had to wait at least 15 mins. If he had not been driving me to the airport he’d surely have started his meter earlier. Fortunately  for me he had driven me at least twice before. Our conversation in German was governed by his speed, the faster he went the more I talked, but when he slowed down too much he quickly found out he was talking to himself. We quickly reached a common understanding and made it to the airport on time.

Nothing had prepared me for the exit crunch. I arrived at the airport hoping to benefit from having been a student one last time. The check-in asked me to pay EUR 12.50 for excess weight which I gladly agreed to fork out. I dunno what she must have written on my slip coz I faced 150 EUR at the counter. The rather friendly lass forgot to add PER KILO as she smiled at me! Funny though, because the last time I took that many bags I only paid 16 EUR in total ! Of course I knew that airlines tend to kick where it hurts just before the flight takes off. But one last time….not so lucky. When ATMs were introduced in the 1980’s, they were magical holes in the wall which shelled out money! I had not checked my account balance for that week and was pretty sure I was in the red. When it spewed out money I was ecstatic. Imagine being so happy for such a small amount! But there I was punching the air in celebration. The smallest things often make the important difference! Remember the multi-billion dollar Hubble telescope which had a thin washer missing and as a result dished out blurry photos for ages till fixed, and of course the Bush-Gore election when the machine imprint was ever so difficult for “experts” to discern who really got the vote!  I am still waiting for one of the judges to write a tell all memoir and spill the beans. For sheer value, I think Gore should be be happy with theNobel prize he took home. Executive office has a way of adding decades your appearance… just look at the Clintons!

It is Christmas day, and it is apt to wish all who read this blog and share the day a Merry Christmas and the rest a joyous festive season!

B.

This friday brought to an end the MBA program with the confering of certificates, final words of wisdom and then a dinner/dance. It was a day and a night to remember. It was rather nice by all accounts. The day was pleasant and beautiful. Despite the grey weather, we refused to be muted in our celebrations. I have always been touched by officianados who bring personal experiences and lessons to speeches at such gatherings. It takes courage and faith to share something that you hold so dear. And also love…The old profs really set a tone for the new lives due to begin the next morning. Values, ethics and good practice pay off many times over in a lifetime. My guests, some well experienced at making speeches and giving advice to others even remarked they felt like taking notes. So I guess, the profs were vindicated in their wisdom.

Long after the early birds had feasted and retired, the profs put on a ‘Blues Brothers’ show. It was great fun. Sometimes it pays to stick around…

The school is pretty much a showpiece on its own. The lasting impression has been that I and others should consider ourselves favoured to have come here. We now need to go out there and just sing!

Yes, ESMT has been good to us. They took a risk by bringing all of us together but I have no doubt in my mind they made a darn good decision. I promised to keep writing the blog till someone in the building pulls the plug and will do so. I also promised to do things ‘out there’ and will definitely do those. I have been incumbating ideas for years now that really need to be realised. As usual, some will never buy what you say till it stares them in the face, whilst others have been quick to throw down the gauntlet.  A challenge to meet in a 2 years time and have results to show. Done! Without a deadline, one can just drift through life and feel that ‘next year’ it will happen.

You know the program is really over when the numerous coffee machines and dispensers that kept us oiled and running during the year have been disconnected! I now have to go across the road for fix. But despite the cold, I am as happy as a lark! In fact, I will be having the traditional ‘gluhwein’ with 0.5m wurst with a dollop of ketchup. Hey, smile! I am in Berlin!

B.

It seems like only yesterday we were locked up and have now been freed, but for some strange reason most of us found solace in the one place we could not wait to get out of all year. The loss at new found freedom, reminds me of Neslon Mandela after he had left prison in 1990, and found he was only confortable in a small room for years. I often wonder whether the frustrated mind undergoes some sort of metamorphosis and begins to identify previous hates as friendlier than the unknown- I am probably clutching at straws here but a form of Stockholm syndrome. If that is the case then our entire class is obviously suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder en masse!

I recall many years ago after just finishing medical school, I went to my dad’s office to tell him I had survived the final two weeks’ 50 hours of medical riguor and was surprised when his response was simply ” good and now you can enjoy yourself”. I was at a loss at what to do and thus headed back to the medical residence only to find that the only ones missing were the married ones who had been dragged home by their spouses. The rest were milling around aimlessly. Of course 36 hours later we were all over town! That lull, needs further research by some emminent professor in need of a Nobel prize…! He won’t even need mice for it because of the thousands of newly minted MBAs and other college graduates in search of opportunity.

A colleague floated a theory that the program had made him dummer. As a finance person he had never accepted “It depends” as an answer. Now, even he used the phrase! In my background, such an unqualified statement was flirting with failure but now seemed not so stupid after all. The program introduced the ‘third way’, previously implausible.

We are heading towards graduation, in fact only 48hrs away to be precise. The insecurities of real life are starting to sneak into our lives once again. Job security, salary, bills etc…oh yeah that stuff- almost as an afterthought! Most of us will end up somewhere comfy and glad we did the program. For a select few this is the chance to justify having learnt about business. I am sure in the coming months the movers and shakers will stake their claim whilst the rest find their way back ordinary life. If you have read my blog more than once it will be obvious to which group I belong.

It is somehow appropriate that a funpark was setup in the square if front of the college entrance. The rides await the inner child in each of us who has been longing for freedom.

Bothwell

The above is a centuries old cry of elation which in this case is augmented by the next step that awaits us. Getting back to society and the daily routine of life. I feel like a kid given new trainers or a football, he will either run all day or kick the ball around all day till his energy is sapped and sleep like a baby. It is this passion of childhood that I want to sustain well into the grey years. I am not there yet!I intend to keep running till my ticker has calcified with age.

The last assignment from the college kept us up all night and just for good measure had a morning deadline. I had planned to email the office a copy of “version 1″ as insurance just in case I dozed off way past submission time. On my way home for quick reboosting nap I went into a study room where a friend was furiously working and decided to settle there and sponge off the energy surplus. Helped a great deal too. Sometimes when your body is telling you to sleeeeep, sight of another body at work restarts the engine and earns you at least another hour.

1530 Hr

I have just been released after making a group presentation of 20 minutes on Prof Mintzberg’s ideas regarding the MBA. Controversial? Yes! but really new probably not but well repackaged. Controversy works for all, from professors to illiterate but ‘blinged’ rappers.

I am now free……..to take up my place in the world. Geronimo!!!!

Bothwell

The brain is an awful instrument. Long after it had tired of making daily changes to my thesis it is still rewriting it. Everyday, I experience eureka moments with ideas that ought to have been in my thesis but are only occuring now. They are definitely not flashbacks. I think that despite all pretenses, it is possible to refine your thesis till it reaches your best effort when anything you do dips the scale. It may or may not be perfection but as close as your particular set of talents get you.

I face my thesis defence soon and have been pleased by offers of wisdom from friends concerned at my welfare. I have been flattered by that. Despite all the toes I stepped on there are many more that I missed!  I have always been motivated by the sport of fencing. I never had the opportunity to learn it at school or college but will ensure that at some point I master it in my life. It has what games like chess lack. The combination of artistry, visual beauty, intelligence and coordination whilst retaining the added element of danger enough to keep you alert.

I am now looking at the finish line after rounding off the last bend. Anybody who has ever ran relays will know that the last handover makes heroes or villains of men. I am determined to keep my head up and faint only when i get home after the event. This college could not let us go without some final harsh treatment for old times sake. So we will be working flat out till the last minute on friday and then after an applause we shall run out to party! The children in us will definitely be let loose!

Our last module has been rather personal, focusing on drives, happiness and other subjects designed to delay gratification at getting a long-delayed paycheck. I broke a taboo today when I was asked what I would change if I were I to do the MBA all over again. I casually said I would change my classmates! I must have hurt some feelings from the quizzing looks I later received.Unfortunately, they forgot to leave the fish on the table! Actually, they have been a pretty good lot. I wouldn’t have been able to stand persons who were too much like me. One is already a handfull as many will agree.
Bothwell

Every now and again a strange thing happens. As we go about our daily business the phenomenon becomes more and more widespread. Only cynicists and pessimists would unduly make the case for the opposite. As we approached the final thesis week, the glum looks and barely there smiles were replaced by a new found enthusiasm. A joie de vivre!Suddenly colleagues had a spring in their step and some went as far as wearing smug looks at the coffee dispenser in the corridors of MBA ‘plus’ floor. It seems the grey clouds that had hovered for seemingly endless weeks were finally lifting. It is amazing that when one has deadlines approaching and is under pressure opportunities appear. I have always imagined that the greatest opportunity often comes when you most ill-prepared for it. The difference between those who make a mark in history and the also-rans ( or silent majority who just pass through) is determined by that simple moment of courage or cowardice.

Whether it is meeting the girl you fancy the day you forgot to shower and brush your teeth, a night out invitation with the boss when you are broke, a freebie dinner invitation to a swanky hotel when you have just force-fed yourself greasy street takeaways, meeting the chairman of the board the day you are wearing your nasty message t-shirt and other such delights. On this occasion, you have just send in your thesis and copied yourself the email just in case but to your horror you find the transmitted mail went with horrendous errors you had spent hours painfully fixing earlier. I am cool guy under pressure not because i do not care but because If I ever alow myself to panic things would only get worse but I did consider sending in a disclaimer stating that I had nothing to do with the faux-pas. But the difference between teachers and students is not the thesis, nor the paychecks, nor the bonuses you take home, but rather the human factor, the realisation that life is a long learning curve and the willingness to let others learn from your mistakes instead of repeating them. And what is more important than the assignment is what you learnt about yourself in the process of accomplishing the task. Long after the drama and panic are forgotten, the personal adjustments that result remain.

 I had promised myself to not let the thesis momentum fade but to keep going as I turn my attention to other things.

Good luck and Godspeed to all my classmates.

Bothwell

The siesta is now well and truly over. The sun is setting and the cool evening chill brings issues of its own. The smiling faces of summer are harder to elicit in corridors. I am not one for gossip but rumours of classmates having finished their thesis draft has spurred the rest of the gang to action. As a group we are ambitious and indirectly competitive by nature. Indirectly because like in marathons there will be people running for different reasons, some for medals, some for improving personal bests, some because they have bet on the family car, some because they need company and others just because they have nothing better to do. One thing is for sure though: nobody wants to be disqualified or to faint in front of the finish line.

As I have said before, few stimulants have quite the same effect as fear. I am sure that in the future biotechnology will come up with a safe drug that sets off what I call “focused panic”. That is activates the survival centre without the side effects. This of course applies largely to others :-). I have always revelled in going against the grain, somewhat like Warren Buffet. My favourite cartoon characters come to mind here, calmly walking towards danger as if it did not exist. Confidence, cockiness and attitude do hold sway in life but only with a dash of wisdom and knowledge. And above all courage.

This is quite the opposite of what happens in the animal kingdom because when wildebeest smell an approaching feline there is “mass panic”.  It is all about awakening the slumbering part of our conciousness that seems to be able to do it all. I hypothesise that great thinkers and doers have somehow mastered the art of doing things as if their life depended on it. But, with everything in life, too much of many a good thing yields the same results as the worst of them all.

My allocated time has expired and hence I stop and get back to work.

Bothwell

If you are a student and are willing to help a group of MBAs to know more about “how students choose careers and the way companies influence those decisions”, please take this survey:

http://esmt-research.career-choice.sgizmo.com

It won’t take more than 10 minutes to complete, plus it can be very revealing about your own preferences…

Folks, the icky part of the MBA is truly in our midst. We always thought getting through stats and microeconomics was the test but it just so happens there is more to come. Taming and domesticating the animal they call call ‘thesis’ can be an experience. I am juggling all the balls at present and the sooner I start dropping some the better. Topics aside, I am no novice to this stuff but this is business school and not a medical board. The rules are similar but worlds apart.  Time is the villain here but either way it has to come together.

Often great minds come together to tell you what you have always known. My belief is that in simplicity lies the greatest knowledge. It is just a question of putting this ethos into practice- so I keep telling myself. It is amazing how things have evolved. I still intend to do something that I will look back on and say ‘yeah, that was me!’. I am one who never wants to look back and deny ever taking part in anything! If I was there then so be it!

With those words, I am off to the library to get stuck in. More news soon!

B :)

The Kick-off for the practice projects was almost a fortnight ago. Suddenly the illusion of free time seems unshakeable. Once upon a time my days and half my weekends were planned for by the college.With the projects and thesis work I find myself a free agent once again. I am still chewing the curd about my thesis topic. Should I go for something really interesting and groundbreaking or play safe and do a nice topic which will ensure I finish on time and am able to tie loose ends. I am driven by challenges and thus my instinctive choice is something really big and then look at moderating it afterwards. In a moment of clarity I sent my thesis topic to the professor and now await the face to face discussion. Originality comes from sponteneity, and thus I emailed her whilst the idea was still setting my neurons alight.

The awful weather setting in will be good encouragement for some desktime and research. Its amazing how time flies and obviously in six weeks’ time we will be handing in our thesis’ and defending our thoughts and ideas. As I look out of my window at the greying skies I catch myself thinking about what lies ahead. I decided to skip the Oktoberfest and now have to do something in order to justify my absence. I have carried the same files in my bag for the past four days and maybe its time to have a look..

B.